Tomorrow is my exam. I realize that this is an opportunity for me to not only get over a trial but to go from glory to glory. Ever since I was a little girl, I would, approach an exam with such intense fear. Normally anything dealing with math would freeze me up (ironic...I do math and science for a living but just the idea).
And, I recall the type of negative thoughts my pastor, Suky, would address herself (and in turn Jesus just started asking her questions) when faced with the dilemma (the dilemma: that not a lot of people would be at church to listen to her preach):
Jesus: You want to bring this to me? Do you want to walk out your talk?
J: So, here's how you feel. What's really true?
S: I feel like you want me to speak and *pouts* nobody is going to be there and it won't be powerful!
J: Ok so what's true?
S: It doesn't matter who's there. The reason I'm speaking is because of you. If I have a message, who needs to hear it will hear it. Jesus you are the reason I live and I am your mouthpiece and I'm not responsible of what's received and how its received. Its not my job.
J: So which do you choose to believe, but now you know the truth so what do you CHOOSE to believe?
The next step is ACTION. Repentance is just STOP doing it...its not just saying I'm just sorry. But don't even think about those negative thoughts. Don't let that sadness marinate and get big again. Sometimes we SHARE with people what upsets us but then you get all upset all over again.
Lets not do that. And honestly this brings me back to a place to surrender the big and mall things to Christ. When I'm worried or frustrated I just have to fall and tell Jesus everything. Pouring out my heart and being honest about those things and choosing to leave them there. CHOOSING to let God come into that space that I need Him to come to.