I've been battling with my inner self for years. My sister called me this morning at 6:30AM. To talk about my fears of the future. GREAT way to start the morning? Really, she called to apologize because she forgot what it was like to be a twenty something year old woman trying to pay her bills, live on her own, go to school, and ultimately being unsure of the future. I got off the phone laughing at how ridiculous I was being because I did lack some faith. God took me this far. I was able to obtain my physics degree when I thought I wouldn't. I was able to get into a graduate program when I thought I also wouldn't. And now, this being my second year, I am at a place where I could continue or discover what really makes my heart tick. I have been looking in Nike Engineering, Under Armor, and Speedo as places to work at. I've look at their job descriptions in hopes of discovering what I might like to do.
I love being athletic, fashion savvy, and technical. I want to utilize these skills all together. What caught my attention during my phone conversation with my sister was her comment: "God gave you all those skills, passions, and the tools to pursue what you are designed to do. So do it." And I feel like its been a sin to NOT do what I KNOW what is RIGHT to do (James 4:17 "The man who has knowledge of how to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin.") I am not saying I have the knowledge to do these things but I think I know how to go about it. I've been researching and really trying to connect with some of these people to see if this is the career for me. Something not overly creative but still technical. Something that would require some athletic skills in the mix. Health conscious and yet fun. I wouldn't say I would thoroughly enjoy it because it is the unknown and the unknown is scary. But once I start walking in the steps that God has ordered for me, I believe that I will be at ease.
This morning after my morning talk with my older sis, I decided to read into Exodus 5-8. Moses was intimate with the Father and was able to receive insight and direction on how to face Pharaoh. Perhaps in my life, Pharaoh is my own negative mind. I have to tell my mind to shut up and believe the WORD of God. To let me get ahold of my dreams and to let me free.