Thursday, August 2, 2012

Endow me, with talent

God has gifted each individual with their own talent(s).  Sometimes its hard to believe, because for me, its hard to see the obvious talent within me. I sometimes observe others at their highest in their talent and my insides quiver, wondering, whats my talent? Other times, I watch people at their normal, and they still seem magnificent.  They tend to grace their talent with such ease.  That talent for them can sometimes be challenging for me.

Olympic athletes do not become "olympic" athletes over night.  A lot of it is from sheer practice and determination.  Yet, they have this "spark" that needs cultivating to create them into the world class athlete that they are today.  I ponder and pray to the Lord, "what is my talent or ease-ability?" 

I don't get a response.

Or maybe I'm not listening hard enough.  Or paying attention to the things I love, but merely paying attention to the things that will produce an easy living or just the "acceptable" thing to do based off of my major in college and what people think should be my occupation or heart.  

In the shower this morning, I kept thinking, all I want is the Lord to strengthen me to live in this day and do what I have to do at work. I'm not miserable but extremely challenged here.  This is what I wanted right? It's not to say that I loathe my job, but quite the contrary.  I love my job but its the mental hurdle that is frustrating and makes me question: is this your will for my life Lord? As the question daunts closer and closer to the 17th, I keep asking God, "okay now or never!" Because the job or graduate program I choose will essentially (well maybe it won't) maneuver my life choices.  These choices I make now are crucial! Time is hard to get back.  Yes, God can grace us back the time we lost, but who wants to live in mistakes? 

I've gone through mistakes that lead to painful memories and mental scars that only Christ can heal.  But, what if I want to avoid that ALL together and live in His fulness? 

All I want to do is please Christ. All I want to do is live this life to the fullest for Him, no one else.

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