Wednesday, July 25, 2012

When he decides to move on

God is a very interesting being. He finds ways to answer my prayers in such startling ways.  I was thinking earlier that God couldn't surprise me not once nowadays because my life in the west coast has been amazing.  No drama here or there.  However, I may not be near my old problems or things I left but I walk with my character everywhere.  The question is: how do you live your life when everyone else has decided to move on without you?

That's where character seeps in.  Do you head for the Haagen Das ice cream or do you head to the Word? Right now, at this shocking time for me, I had two options: start popping off or release all emotions in this blog in hopes of God knowing my heart (and all of you).

What do you do when he moves on? You know, the guy you fell madly in love with one summer and spent the night underneath the stars?  What happens when he decides to get married and have kids with his girlfriend of X amount of years? What happens when you were not "invited" to the wedding because s u r e l y w h y would you be invited? 

What you do on. 

T.D. Jakes says this elegantly:

"For many women, the greatest tragedy is not the injury or injustice itself but the incapacitated soul left in its wake.  But I say to you that there is another woman inside of you.  She is smooth as satin and strong as steel.  Your self-esteem, your creativity, your wholeness will be reborn and renewed as you accept the freedom Jesus is holding out to you."

The only answer I got from here on out is: Jesus. Jesus is the answer. He's the only one who can heal the wounds that I thought were already mended from months upon months of grief and loneliness. It's funny when you go about your life thinking that you no longer are deeply connected with an individual and you happen to hear that they either got engaged or married and B A M your emotions hit you like a crushing cerulean wave!

But God is good.  This is what I prayed for...perseverance, strength, and self-control; the ability to MOVE on and not rushing to friends or men.  Please. My self-worth is known in Christ and He's the only one who could listen intently while healing me every bit He can.  Only He knows where my grief stems from.  Self-love is really important in this time.  This could be a place of vulnerability but I believe pointing my vulnerability to God is the best thing.  Being free from the chains of the past and embracing God's promises are a sure deal.  There's nothing more important than becoming the woman God has created me to be: restored and renewed.

In order for me to be restored and renewed is really setting my mind on the below scripture points:

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. -Philippians 4:8

Real talk. This walk in Christ is no joke. This ain't for the punks or those who are luke warm. This is a daily thing. An every second thing. While being a Christian may be a "Go to Churchhhh PRAISE THE LORD" blah blah, it doesn't matter. It's beyond human emotions. It's simply obeying His word and not be swayed by emotions. Because human beings are really evil beings. Our insides are not pure. Our motives are normally self-seeking. WE got to readjust our thinking to be like Christ to even maneuver our way through this world.

This ain't for the babies dog...this is straight talk, no chaser.

Monday, July 23, 2012

We witness His glory everyday

"The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night they display knowledge."
Psalm 19:1-2

We are without excuse! God displays Himself everywhere from the sunrises to sunsets.  He displays His greatness through the waterfalls to the volcanic eruptions in remote areas.  He shows His love to us by waking us up every morning to experience another day to be with Him.  He extended forgiveness and the ability to commune with Him though our acceptance of His Son Jesus Christ...there is no veil between us and God. Christ ripped down that veil and let us walk through the corridors of God's palace.  How awesome :D

"For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities - his eternal power and divine nature - have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse."
Romans 1:20

We as human beings viewing large expansions of mountains to the complex constellations of our night sky, cannot say, that God is not real. He is greater than the Higgs Boson!

"How great are your works, O Lord, how profound your thoughts!"
Psalm 92:5

We should take some time and just meditate on how beautiful God is...and how creative He is. He was creative even when He made you:

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
Psalm 139:13-14

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Life is simple, just find what makes you happy, right?

This must be how people really think nowadays.  Or maybe its never really changed...this actual thought.  But what if you find what makes you happy and who you can be happy with...can you truly be satisfied?

I'd like to say that this may be a possibility but it is only a mere possibility because people will disappoint and whatever might make you happy may not be there forever.

The only thing that will stay consistent with all trials in life is: God's love.
James 1:17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

It's always good to know that God is always consistent.

Plus, I just realized that this verse states: every GOOD gift and every PERFECT gift is from above.  So that means, the thing that you find that makes you happy and the person who can make you happy is from above.  From God.  So why should we doubt these perfect gifts from an amazingly perfect God to falter on us?  We shouldn't because if anything we should be striving to know the Father of lights whom is able to make all these things possible for us and more. :)  God's love remains the same...He's consistent and loyal.

More loyal than the things He's created.  More reliable than your electronics, boyfriends/girlfriend/spouse...whatever, house, money, etc. God is just amazing.

Malachi 3:6, "I, the Lord, do not change."

Isle of You

This song has been on repeat this past weekend ever since I found Christon Gray.  Amazing singer. 
"Hey Miss Amazing, you blow my mind, beautiful lady if you don't mind, I'd like to get away sunset in view stay here forever on the, I'll love you I'll hold you dear give you your roses while you're still here. You take my breathe away, my words are few, just know forever i love you...and Lord knows I deserve nothing, I got everything yes i do oh..."

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Love God, Love Each other

This is normally a very strange subject because, many people in the church view homosexuality as a sin that holds more weight than any other sin.  However, lets think about this:
1. What does God hate?(Proverbs 6:16-19)
16  There are six things the Lord hates, 
    seven that are detestable to him:
17         haughty eyes, 
        a lying tongue, 
        hands that shed innocent blood, 
18         a heart that devises wicked schemes,
        feet that are quick to rush into evil, 
19         a false witness who pours out lies 
        and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.
The main one that seems relevant in this topic is: "A person who stirs up conflict in the community." It seems that people point out homosexualities and stir up such drama, which the Lord truly hates.  

2. What does God love? (1 John 4:9-11)
This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
God loves us. Period. Yet, He wants us to be clear that Jesus has sacrificed himself for our sins.  We are washed away and since God loves us, we ought to love each other.
3. What does God require of us? (John 13:34-35)

34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

He requires that we love each other.
In regard to homosexuality, Paul says it eloquently, (paraphrased) that the law was not made for the righteous people but the unrighteous.  The law was set to let sinners see and know what is immoral (or wrongful) to God (1 Timothy 1: 8-11).
Yet, here in 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 states:
Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived:Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men[a]10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
So before we go off on homosexuals, this scripture also discuses those who are having sex outside of marriage, idolaters, cheating spouses, thieves, greedy people, drunks, liars, someone who deprives rightful $$$ to someone else...will not inherit the kingdom of God if and only if (1 Corinthians 6:11):
11 And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
This scripture might argue that this person can possibly be gay and be "washed and sanctified" but if we have the Spirit of God in us, we would be able to discern what is immoral(or wrongful) to God and be inclined to follow His voice. 
That was probably way too long but, my opinion:
I would still support my church if my pastor is preaching SOUND doctrine, regardless if there are homosexuals in the church.  If they are trying to get closer to God and know His voice, they will be inclined by the holy Spirit...not mere man.
Same sex marriage is immoral, however, I won't hate the couple because of their marriage.  Instead, I'll love them because honestly, they are people.  God requires us to love them but not love their sin. 
For our pastors, I believe they should be so close to God that they can feel Him breathing on their necks.  This is a very important time for our society and our pastors need to be equipped. Pastors and sheep may be going astray, but God is ALWAYS there and ALWAYS present.  He will appoint those who can do the job. I believe that.   

Friday, July 20, 2012

Motives: Men and women cannot be friends. Sorry.

Do you remember being a little girl in the playground, running around the cement parking lot pavement playing tag?  I do. I remember that the school building was the "safe haven" from the perpetrator trying to tag us "IT". I suppose it was easier back then where you could snicker and throw sand in your crushes face while secretly hoping they could see beyond your rude actions that perhaps, they see you as a possible love.
Dawson & Joey...clearly you just can't be "friends".

However, this is the real world.  We live in a world where, acting like an immature adult is not only a turn-off, but truly shows how much you have not grown.  Have you ever seen the 40 year old men wanting to date the 21 year old women? Besides the age difference and the huge possibility that the old man just wants a youthful face around him, it is quite common that this man might be dealing with some internal drama: i.e. crazy divorce. That divorce just might be a result from his selfish ways and lets not forget the ex-wife's contributions.  I'm just stating for the sake of the argument, that men who date women who are significantly younger than them are either dealing with: anxiety of their age, depression because they may not feel attractive as they age, and resentment toward women their age who might view themselves superior.

Either way, lets face it, people are insecure.  People will try to boost themselves up anyway possible.  You just have to be conscious of people's motives.  Sometimes its good and many times can be bad.

For instance, I have an amazing friend named Jacob who is very handsome, athletic, and intelligent.  He didn't get into his new found "sexy" until junior year of college.  Now, a recent grad who will be attending graduate school in the fall, he has gotten massive amount of text messages, e-mails, and phone calls from various women wanting to date him.  Unfortunately, my dear friend is naive. He believes these women want to be his "Friend" but lets be frank: No woman will EVER step up to a man unless, unless, she was interested.  Point-blank.  Or when she needs something.

And that something is really "someone" who is stable and nice.  That he is. Moreover, he just seemed so nascent in regard to this new treatment. I mean, you're an attractive young man that is having problems distinguishing between a friend and a possible love.  There should be no ambiguity. Things are clear in the first 5 minutes of conversation: you can simply tell if someone is interested in you in the slightest if they keep entertaining the conversation. We could argue that this is social psychology or just realness.

Well, dear Jacob is now having issues with groping the fact that men and women cannot truly be friends.  And that makes me question his thoughts: maybe he thinks we aren't friends, or that possibly he thinks I might be interested in more. Well good!  I need this man to take a hint. #shakeshead

Anyways, thats the end of my hypothetical statements and what-if's.

What you should get out of it is this: people have motives.  Women who approach men are as malicious as you think [well not malicious but they have a plan!]. And men should not be so naive.  OH OH and men and women cannot be friends!

Love !== Romance

Have you ever felt like you went back to your vomit?

Reminiscing about past loves that you try to forget.  The love you once had for them now seems trivial.  Was that even love?

Simple answer: no. If you're going back to your vomit, aka, sin, let that go.  Let the whole thought go.  Let romance go. All of that is from the media.  The media wants to shove into our throats what love is.  But:

love ! == romance;

Love isn't romance.  Romance may make you "feel" love, but it is some fictitious representation of what love is.  Let it go.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Remaining faithful in a relationship? What?

A friend of mine, Michael* recently told me about a "hook-up" he had with an old college friend of his.  Normally, I would be like, "Okay...why are you telling me this," but this time it was different.  This man is in a relationship with someone that he "loves" and does not want to harm.  However, I look at the situation as this: you clearly have immense feelings for your girlfriend but you are quick to "hook-up" with someone else? I started having questions in my mind such as, "Does she know you're a cheater?" "Do you have an agreement with your girlfriend on an open relationship?" "Why would you ever cheat on her?" "What is wrong with you?" among others.


But the real issue at hand is: he thinks that this is perfectly normal. *Ahem* Excuse me? Normal? Normality? Expected? Dude, are you serious?

Well, after he tells me about his quick "hook-up," he glares at me and says, "you're judging me!" You're feeling guilty now because I won't "cosign" to your actions.  Why would I ever cosign to someone cheating on their significant other?

I felt tempted to Facebook the girl and let her know that she should keep her guard up.  Yet, I remembered, I will never get into someone's relationship. It's just a written rule in my heart.  I believe people automatically know the type of person they are dealing with.  This woman has to be well aware of what kind of boyfriend he is.  He has expressed to her the specific sexual background he has attained throughout his years in undergrad.  There is possibly no way for her to be that naive to believe that this man would automatically change because of a Facebook relationship status change. Please save me the dramatics.

In his arrogance the wicked man hunts down the weak, who are caught in the schemes he devises.  He boasts of the cravings of his heart; he blesses the greedy and reviles the Lord. Psalm 10:2-3

Men of this world do not have a concern for their loved ones really. I'm slowly but surely seeing this.  There is no guilt in their hearts.  There is no doubt in their minds that their carnal nature is evil.  They just believe that they should live out they're coveting and indulging ways.

In his pride the wicked does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God. Psalm 10:4

How can you love someone but be so selfish? How can you love someone but cheat and lie to them?  How can you love someone when you purposely hold information back?

Monday, July 9, 2012


"To whom will you liken me and make me equal, and compare me, that we may be alike?"
Isaiah 46:5

As a young woman in my twenty's, it is very easy to mistaken the desire and drive to pursue the lavish things in life to idolatry.  Meditating on obtaining a doctorate degree, an expensive luxury car, white picket fence with the mansion, and of course the fine family is what many women want.  But when does all this become idolatry?  When does the obsession turn into something uglier? When does our Spirit turn into an unfamiliar one: the Jezebel spirit, want everything it can encompass?

People make it seem completely normal to go after these things with their whole hearts, however, doesn't God command us to love Him entirely? ("He answered,  "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind"; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself'." "You have answered correctly," Jesus replied.  "Do this and you will live." Luke 10:27-28).

Yet, at least for me, its been a struggle trying to weed out my own desires and place in my heart the one true desire I want: the Lord. I want His heart to be within mine.  I got rid of all the randoms, which took a lot of self-control, prayer, and BELIEVING that God has better for me.  I have made sure to plant myself firmly into a young adults group and fellowshipping with other people.  However, throughout the week at work, it is so easy to be misguided on such trivial topics. "When will I get married? What is my career going to be like in the next year or so? How much will I get paid?  Should I just settle (in every facet in life)?" I mean, seriously, it is SO easy to get misguided and not bringing it back to the one who created it all.

I get encouraged, seeing other brother's and sister's in Christ wanting to draw closer to God at work.  It makes me joyous because, I find the most peace just praying to Him instead of fighting with my computer.  #Sigh.

Lord, give me strength for another day. It is SO easy to get misguided but through your SON and your PROMISE, I believe you have the BEST in store for me.

I believe it.  I know it.

I know that first, we have to part the way of our nasty habits (a.k.a. sins) and repent:
"For Your name's sake, O Lord, pardon my iniquity, for it is great.  Who is the man who fears the Lord?  He will instruct him in the way he should choose." (Psalm 25:11-12)

Lord, first I have to repent and honestly fear you. Believe you.  Trust you. And then I know you'll open the doors where I need to go.

Even when I think it might hurt - it won't because I know you have the best for me.

Thank you Father. Abba. Jesus. In Jesus name. Amen.

Friday, July 6, 2012

Guard you heart [thinking and mind]

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? "I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve."

The human heart is such a fickle entity. Within the heart are emotions that range from anger to happiness. Its insane how our emotions can dictate our future.  Using wisdom and discernment can help us make good decisions regarding our future.  Leading with our heart will not.

I had a homegirl of mine who was dealing with an ill breakup.  Let's call her *Ruth. Now, Ruth was dating a Jewish man, knowing that their relationship would never grow.  See, Ruth was a Christian, and this man was not. Let's call this man *Bobby.  Now, Bobby was open with Ruth, telling her that he was in various open relationships with other women but wanted to marry Ruth. However, he never displayed his loyalty or commitment to Ruth.  

The whole time, he remains a steady friend for years but blatantly disrespects her by crossing the line with her.  I don't know about you, but if I were in this situation it would be plain and simple.  Do not let the heart make decisions for you.  Because in your heart, you will believe that because Bobby was there for you in hurtful times that he "cares". But this man does not! He has shown Ruth relentlessly how he could care less about their friendship and would want to sabotage it with a night of pleasure by crossing the line.  And he's open about sleeping with other women.  And on top of that, he is Jewish.

1. Unequally yoked.
2. Blatantly disrespectful.
3. Manipulative.
4. Sexually immoral.

Let's go over some scripture:
2 Corinthians 6:14, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.  For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common?  Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"

Absolutely, nothing!  Maybe you both can agree that Drake is as soft as a baby's bottom or that society is real messed up, but beyond the obvious, let that fool go!

Matthew 15: 8 "These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me."

Yeah, uhm, okay well this displays that people can "say" things to you that may seem respectful but it is just them SAYING these things.  They are not displaying their actions alongside it.  Unfortunately, that is NOT enough.

Proverbs 12:3 "A man cannot be established through wickedness, but the righteous cannot be uprooted."

Manipulation is not the way to go.  The Lord will overthrow the wicked and the righteous will be firm in ground (see Proverbs 12:7).  Just stay away from these fools.

Ephesians 5:3 "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people."

He said it! It is IMPROPER for His holy people.  He considers those saved, His children, His first loves, His holy people.  So in order for us to continue living holy, let's not even entertain that the thought or mess.  That comes with the renewing of the mind.

All I can say is this.  Do NOT let your EMOTIONS run you.  I literally had an "emotional" day yesterday...for WHAT? I don't know! But I admitted to God, at 2AM, that I was clearly acting up, and repented for acting like a baby.  It's not worth it.  It is not worth losing sleep off of.  It's honestly, what you're filling your mind with. 

Well loves, be safe, stay cool, and be amazing siblings in Christ.

One LOVE. <3

Sunday, July 1, 2012

The cliche that is more than that...God is good

Pastor Benjamin (PB) preached on: God is good.

Apparently, in the Hebrew language, there is no superlative greater than "good" (tov).  However, in the English language we have "great", "excellent", among others. Now, I understand this cliche has been overused in the black baptist churches, [insert grandmother's voice] "God is GOOD ALL THE TIME," but PB reflected on the story of Moses.

Moses was low-key having an anxiety attack before the Lord (Exodus 33:12-13). Well, I think he was feeling a bit insecure about his position in leading the Israelites.  Anyway, he was very self-conscious, however, God was very pleased with Moses (v. 17).

Great thing about Moses was that he asked God to show him His glory.  Asking God to see His glory shed light on where his confidence came from.  Moses' confidence did not come from, what people said, but simply witnessing and becoming aware of God's glory.  When God shows you His glory, He will show you His goodness that you could not imagine!  Seeing God's glory would kill you but as we can see, Moses was hidden behind a cleft of a rock.  Now, realize that now, our Rock is Jesus Christ. We can count on God coming closer to us as we draw closer to Jesus Christ.

Anyway, you cannot believe in a good God and believe in everything around you is going terrible.  You have to be excellent at the place you are at now so that God can lift you up.

"I am sill confidant of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living."