That's where character seeps in. Do you head for the Haagen Das ice cream or do you head to the Word? Right now, at this shocking time for me, I had two options: start popping off or release all emotions in this blog in hopes of God knowing my heart (and all of you).
What do you do when he moves on? You know, the guy you fell madly in love with one summer and spent the night underneath the stars? What happens when he decides to get married and have kids with his girlfriend of X amount of years? What happens when you were not "invited" to the wedding because s u r e l y w h y would you be invited?
What you do is...is...move on.
T.D. Jakes says this elegantly:
"For many women, the greatest tragedy is not the injury or injustice itself but the incapacitated soul left in its wake. But I say to you that there is another woman inside of you. She is smooth as satin and strong as steel. Your self-esteem, your creativity, your wholeness will be reborn and renewed as you accept the freedom Jesus is holding out to you."
The only answer I got from here on out is: Jesus. Jesus is the answer. He's the only one who can heal the wounds that I thought were already mended from months upon months of grief and loneliness. It's funny when you go about your life thinking that you no longer are deeply connected with an individual and you happen to hear that they either got engaged or married and B A M your emotions hit you like a crushing cerulean wave!
But God is good. This is what I prayed for...perseverance, strength, and self-control; the ability to MOVE on and not rushing to friends or men. Please. My self-worth is known in Christ and He's the only one who could listen intently while healing me every bit He can. Only He knows where my grief stems from. Self-love is really important in this time. This could be a place of vulnerability but I believe pointing my vulnerability to God is the best thing. Being free from the chains of the past and embracing God's promises are a sure deal. There's nothing more important than becoming the woman God has created me to be: restored and renewed.
In order for me to be restored and renewed is really setting my mind on the below scripture points:
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. -Philippians 4:8
Real talk. This walk in Christ is no joke. This ain't for the punks or those who are luke warm. This is a daily thing. An every second thing. While being a Christian may be a "Go to Churchhhh PRAISE THE LORD" blah blah, it doesn't matter. It's beyond human emotions. It's simply obeying His word and not be swayed by emotions. Because human beings are really evil beings. Our insides are not pure. Our motives are normally self-seeking. WE got to readjust our thinking to be like Christ to even maneuver our way through this world.
This ain't for the babies dog...this is straight talk, no chaser.